GRASSHOPPER AND THE ANT - THE REAL STORY

I Can't help but pass this along!  -It sounds real to me!

Thomson report

by John Thomson - Story: 44677
Jan 29, 2009 / 5:00 am

I was going through some papers looking at some stuff I had kept from last year and found this story. I'm not sure where I had received this from but got a laugh and thought you would too. The story about the ant and the grasshopper... 

CLASSIC VERSION 

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his 
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a 
fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the 
ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. 

THE END 

THE CANADIAN VERSION 

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his 
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a 
fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the 
ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh? 

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less 
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. 

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, 
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table 
laden with food. 

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor 
grasshopper is allowed to suffer while others have plenty. 

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special 
from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing 'We Shall 
Overcome'. 

Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten 
rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on 
the ant to make him pay his 'fair share'. 

In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. 

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire 
grasshoppers as helpers. 

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed 
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. 

The ant moves to the US, and starts a successful agribiz company. 

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the 
ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government house 
he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around 
him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. 

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head a 
commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. 

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames 
it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. 

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised 
by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who 
promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community. 

THE END

EXECUTIVE COMPENSATION AND BAILOUTS

President Obama is apparently not happy about the fact that bailed out companies are still paying themselves billions of dollars in bonuses, nor should he be.

The audacity of company executives who feel that they are worthy of such bonuses for incompetent management is incomprehensible in my view. 

Top executives meeting in Davos, Switzerland, of all places, are admitting that compensation models of some firms will have to be completely overhauled. I believe that would be an understatement. 

It’s not as if these people are being compensated with the worthless stock of the companies they have run into the ground, no, they get paid in cash thanks to the taxpayer funded bailouts.

 

I would humbly suggest that if a bailout is provided it should be contingent on management getting no bonuses and a 50% cut in salary. That would give them some incentive to manage the company prudently and profitably, give the shareholders some incentive to hold on, save the taxpayer the cost of bailing them out and financing such insane compensation packages.

The taxpayers of the world, unable to pay their mortgage or rent, are rightfully feeling they are being crapped on and then having their noses rubbed in it by these holier than thou executives who are living high off the hog on taxpayer handouts.

OUR CRAZY WORLD

Japan - Fire crew left the stove on when they went on a fire call and burned the fire station down.

South Korea - A Bio company says you will soon be able to clone your dog for about $50,000. Down 50% from the current cost of $100,000.   I have no idea why anyone would do that in the first place.

Britain - After 34 years a British Doctor has admitted that a paper published in the British Medical Journal on Cello Scrotum, a painful ailment suffered by Cello players, was a Hoax. The Dr. and her husband have been dining out on the story ever since it was published. Thank you very much. The story was inspired by a report on another highly suspect condition called Guitar Nipple.  Go figure.

New Zealand - Two prisoners, handcuffed together, made a run for freedom outside a courthouse. Unfortunately for them they tried to run one on either side of a lamp standard and fell to the ground where the police apprehended them.

THE BENEFITS OF COFFEE

I’M happy to learn all the coffee I’ve been chided for drinking so much of is actually good for me. What a relief.

http://men.webmd.com/features/coffee-new-health-food

VENEZUELA CONFISCATES ANOTHER OIL RIG

Venezuela has confiscated another oil rig. This at the same time as they are courting big oil to help finance some needed infrastructure spending. The way I see it, it was probably not very wise of U.S. based Ensco to go there in the first place. Apparently PDVSA has used all it’s capital on other unrelated projects and with the drop in oil prices finds itself unable to pay the Drillers so they are simply confiscating the rigs.

Apparently the big investments in the oil infrastructure in that country by China, Iran and other favored countries didn’t pan out, otherwise they wouldn’t be quietly courting big oil companies again.

It should serve as a warning to big oil to stay away from Venezuela no matter how lucrative the investment proposal sounds.

BUDGET- MY VIEW

Three cups of coffee and mulling over the new budget and I can’t see where the document benefits me or mine at all.

I don’t think I’ll be selling investments that are underwater by 50% to do Home improvements to take advantage of the announced tax credit. Which I probably won’t need anyway as my income drops during this recession.

When they said infrastructure I would have thought they meant Highways, Bridges, Hospitals, Deep Sea Ports and that sort of infrastructure. Recreation Centres, Museums, Theatres and the like, although nice to have, don’t qualify in my mind as fiscally prudent infrastructure to spend money on at this time.

Infrastructure spending is good as long it is put into badly needed projects that will be beneficial to the general well being of the entire population not just blatant vote buying jurisdictions.

Tax cuts do most benefit as the money would be spent locally not filtered through governments sticky hands.

There seems to be a lot of spending on things that have nothing to do with most Canadians. Bailouts benefit the highest voting jurisdictions not the most needed jurisdictions. 

I can see we are mortgaging our Children & Grandchildrens futures in this most Unconservative Budget.

CITIBANK UPDATE ( No Airplane )

Citibank executives caved in to pressure from the White House and decided it would not be a best use of funds to take delivery of their new Corporate Jet at this time. Go Figure.

CITIBANK’S TIMELY BAILOUT ( How to buy a new Jet )

It’s a good thing the good taxpayers of America gave Citibank a $300 billion dollar bailout or they would have had trouble adding the new corporate jet to their fleet of planes. The new $50 million dollar jet came from France, thereby not inconveniencing out of work airplane manufacturers in America. They would have had to cut back on executive bonuses to help cover the cost.

Oh apparently they are cutting bonuses back to a mere $26 million, that should help.

There was obviously no conditions attached to the bailout money for the Bank executives to decide this was a good use of taxpayers money.

Do the people at the top not realize there is a recession happening and their bank is in trouble?

How many houses could have been spared from foreclosure if they had lent those millions out, instead of buying toys and overpaying incompetent executives?

CRTC AND THE DO NOT CALL LIST

The CRTC initiated Do Not Call list is being sold to telemarketers online. This is another example of our inept beaurocracy making fools of themselves. The anger of people who put their names on this list only to start getting more calls instead of less is justified indeed. The telemarketers are having a field day with this. They simply buy a list over the internet and they have all the valid phone numbers they will ever need, including people’s cell phones that they have to pay for incoming calls on.

Another case of our tax dollars being misused.

Now how much will it cost us to fix it? 

FINALLY A TAX CUT

It’s hard to believe the government is about to give us a tax cut. I’ll take it happily, however I am a little skeptical as this government has had a history of lying to us about such things. I expect if we actually get the announced cut  they will think of other things to tax us on as well as take away existing tax deductions.  They haven't been in power long enough to fully develop the greed and corruption that years in power bring out in politicians of every stripe.This is the nature of Politicians in general. The Conservatives are the best of a bad lot, so we have no choice but to be supportive of them.

Liberals have proven over the years to be far too corrupt and arrogant to deserve even a hint of a chance of regaining power.

The NDP has a philosophy that is not in line with the philosophy of most Canadians and so cannot and should not be given more of an influence on power than they duly represent.

THIS IS UPLIFTING

There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.'  It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v]. It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?  A t a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP  the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.  At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP  trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.  To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this up is confusing:  A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped  UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.   We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !  To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes  UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add  UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.  When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.  One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now  ........my time is UP , so time to shut UP!  Oh...one more thing:  What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?  U    P  Don't screw up. Send this on to everyone you look up in your address book.       Now I'll shut up

TOO MUCH DOOM AND GLOOM

Bank of Canada governor Mark Carney on today’s monetary conditions report predicts that the economy will start a recovery in July. The media has been so hell bent on painting doom and gloom scenarios for so long it is about time some good news scenarios were put forward. Good on Mark, it’s about time.

Sometimes I think the media is as much to blame in our present predicament as the incompetent people who started it. The constant barrage of bad news and pending doom becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

A little positive spin on our economies wouldn’t hurt from time to time.

GIVE THE DOOM AND GLOOM A REST ALREADY!

McKENZIE VALLEY PIPELINE

The McKenzie pipeline proposal has become a black hole swallowing up millions of taxpayers dollars not to mention the millions already spent by oil companies and the people of the McKenzie Delta have invested to prepare for the pipeline. A panel of regulators known as the Joint Review Panel has managed to turn a 10 month review into 47 months and counting, current cost $16,000,000.and counting. The Town of Inuvik has recommended the 7 member panel be fired for Gross Incompetence. I cannot help but feel they are right in their anger.

By the time the report is finished it will be irrelevant and not worth the paper it is written on. With the oil price where it is I don’t think any company or bank would be interested in financing it anyway. Oil companies have so far spent $500,000,000 dollars and have nothing to show for it.

The incompetence of regulators and beaurocracy is part of the ruination of our country and must be addressed and dealt with before we can have any hope of this pipeline proposal going forward. The JRP is just one example of this and I’m sure there many more examples that are just as frustrating to the people involved in other projects.

POLIGAMY AND YOUNG GIRLS

The arrest and charging of the Bountiful Sect’s leaders with polygamy is long overdue. Not in my mind because they take on the challenge of multiple wives and all that it entails but because they have decided that marrying young girls is the way to go. The accommodating of 20 women or 17 or whatever the number is would be a major challenge in itself, but if that’s what they want that’s fine. Winston Blackmore must get a real deal when he goes shopping for Birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas and all other such occasions. Juggling the wants and desires of that many women would pose such a logistics problem I certainly can’t understand how or why he would even consider such an arrangement. The situational scenarios are mindboggling and I will not even try to address them at this time.

The introduction of young girls, too young to properly comprehend the situation they are getting themselves into into that mix  would and should constitute child abuse. Try as I might I cannot fathom a 13 or 14 year old girl having the maturity to decide that marrying  a 50 year old man is either desirable or morally right.

If Winston Blackmore gets off on the suggestion it is his religious right it opens the door to every pedophile in the country to claim that abusing young children is just one of their religious rights and freedoms. That is the main reason this situation has to be resolved with a conviction.

PATULLO BRIDGE FIRE

The venerable old Patullo Bridge is shut down because of a fire, possibly set by homeless people living under it. Built as a make work project during the depression of the 1930’s, it has served admirably as a major fraser river crossing for 72 years. As I recall it was a toll bridge but the best way to get to New Westminster to shop and my parents made the trip to get groceries once a week. Times have changed. 

The bridge has obviously  done what it was designed to do and should be retired and replaced.  

The latest study done on it suggests that it would be less costly to build and maintain a new bridge than upgrade and maintain the old one which will still have a number of safety issues that must at some point be addressed.

Don't fix bridge: Report

Building new crossing would be less costly

Frank Luba, The Province

Published: Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A consultant's report to go to TransLink's board meeting tomorrow advises against fixing the 70-year-old Pattullo Bridge, where 21 people have died in traffic accidents since 1990.

The meeting is closed to the public.

"The current condition of the bridge requires a significant capital-cost investment to rehabilitate the bridge to obtain three standard-travel lanes. These rehabilitation costs would be similar to the incremental cost of providing three additional lanes on the new bridge structure," says an executive summary of the Delcan report, made available yesterday.

The four-lane Pattullo across the Fraser River connects New Westminster to Surrey. Both municipalities have called for the bridge to be updated or replaced, particularly because it will be the free option to the future tolled Port Mann Bridge that is part of the province's Gateway Program.

Delcan said other downsides to fixing the four-lane Pattullo are that it would only last another 50 years and it would be more expensive to maintain than a new bridge.

There would also be complications with the approaches and it could take longer to fix than building a new and wider bridge.

Delcan recommends a new bridge 50 metres downstream from the existing bridge.

Although it would be more expensive than an option 50 metres upstream of the existing bridge, it would have limited impact on residential and industrial properties and moderate impact on parks.

There's no plan to replace the bridge in TransLink's 2009 10-year transportation and financial Plan to be discussed at the in-camera meeting tomorrow.

© The Vancouver Province 2008

SCENES WE'VE SEEN

Make a Smilebox slideshow

VENEZUALAN OIL AND CHAVEZ’S AMBITIONS

The oil companies of the world are being invited by Hugo Chavez of Venezuela to participate in some projects in that country. A few short years ago he nationalized the oil fields and ousted oil companies or marginalized them however he is finding that without capital and expertise his oil production is falling. The price of oil has dropped below the cost of production and the infrastructure is in disrepair. Without the windfall profits of the past few years Chavez cannot finance the ambitious social programs and anti-American propaganda machine he has implemented in past few years. He has maintained his popularity throughout Latin America and other parts of the world through these programs and is reluctant to give  any of them, and his resultant popularity up.

A surprising number of major oil companies have paid $2,000,000. each to get information on proposed projects. I would have thought that they would be reluctant to go back there after getting burned only two short years ago. This is an obvious reflection of how few major oil pools there are in the world if they have to consider going back to a jurisdiction where they are putting their capital at such risk.

The bulk of Venezuelan oil is heavy oil which is much more costly to refine. It will take years of work and billions of dollars to repair and upgrade the infrastructure and only weeks to have it taken away again through a nationalization program. If the large oil companies of the world go back to Venezuela  in a large way they deserve what they get.

As an investor who has lost big time by having money invested in oil companies I find it very distasteful to have one or more of the companies I’m invested in go back there. I would surely have to rethink my investment in any company that did so.

ENOUGH KILLING ALREADY

The ongoing slaughter in Gaza has got to stop. Sophisticated weapons in use by Israel are inflicting a horrendous toll on the innocents within the captive population in Gaza. Bombing Schools, the UN refugee compound and now a hospital is not good. With the sophisticated weaponry that Israel has in it’s arsenal these events  really make them look like the bad guys.

Inflicting such damage on a population is only going to make it much harder to accomplish a lasting peace in future as it sows the seeds of hatred so much deeper. The citizens of Gaza will join Hamas as a forum for exacting revenge on those who have killed their friends and families , and so the cycle will continue. Generation after generation of fighting will just keep making the hatred for each other go deeper and stronger. The longer it goes on the deeper the hatred will run.

The world is implicit in this problem as they have stood by and watched, essentially saying to Israel, just get it done. The mismatch in weaponry in this conflict is putting the Israeli’s in such a bad light worldwide, that they will have a hard time gaining credibility as a peace loving nation.

I wonder if the Israeli, and worldwide, leadership have really thought through the consequences of their actions in this ongoing dispute. The eventual backlash for the suffering they have inflicted on these souls may eventually become intolerable, as the backlash will be worldwide. The Palestinian children growing up in these deplorable conditions will surely feel justified in their hatred of the Israeli’s, and little wonder why. It’s hard to bomb a people into loving you.

Hamas, of course, must be contained but there must be a better way to do that than to condone such slaughter as is now occurring .

STOP THE KILLING!!!!!! 

HAPPY LANDING

Congratulations and kudo’s to the pilot and crew of American Airlines airbus who managed to crash land their disabled jet on the Hudson river. Turning a disabled plane and managing to miss a bridge and land on the river instead of all those buildings in New York city  was an amazing feat. The Emergency response teams managing to rescue all the passengers and crew before they had to spend time in the river made for what some are calling a miracle on the Hudson as opposed to 48th street  No serious injuries and a good workout for emergency responders. All is good.

OLYMPIC OVERSPENDING

Our provincial government is treating us like little kids or more like sheep, trying to make us believe that the Olympic costs are on budget. Firstly we are expected to believe that Highway improvement projects are not related to the Olympics as is the sky train extension to YVR. These projects would not have been started had not the Olympics been awarded to Vancouver. The cost overruns of the Olympic village is apparently a non issue to our government, tell that to the citizens of Vancouver who are on the hook for at least $100,000,000! 

We have not even been given an estimate on how many hundreds of millions it will cost us to provide security for the games. The federal gov’t will possibly contribute a portion towards security but it will be costly no matter what.

I just cannot understand why the Liberal government feels they have to keep the actual costs from the general public. Whether we agreed with having the games here or not, they are a fact of our lives now and we just have to accept that.

 Please Mr. Campbell be up front and tell us the real truth. We really can take it better than the lies and fabrications we are being fed now.

INEPT, BUMBLING POLITICAL GAMESMANSHIP

The Ottawa gong show would be comical if it weren’t  for the fact that it will cost the Canadian taxpayer, already overburdened by high taxes billions more. Mr. Flaherty who not long ago said our economy is strong  and so has no intention of doing anything, has been dragged kicking and screaming to the realization that we are in fact in serious trouble financially. Whether he has had blinders on or his arrogance has gotten the better of him doesn’t matter at this point but it brought the government to the brink of losing power.

The lies told to get into power and misadventures once in power have not endeared this government in the hearts of a good many retired and soon to be retired citizens.

Suddenly he has decided that the auto industry needs billions of dollars of taxpayers money to survive, however after three disastrous years he still hasn’t come to the realization that the forest industry in Canada is in dire straits. Is that because the auto industry is in Ontario and the Forestry is in other Provinces with less political clout. If the auto industry is deserving of a bailout for inept management and bad planning then why not all other industries that are in financial distress.

Unfortunately having a Prime Minister from the west does nothing to help us in the west, as he forgot we existed as soon as he got to Ottawa. Perhaps a wake-up call would be in order for Mr. Harper in the next upcoming election. He is comfortable in the fact he will have support from the west and the Liberal party has no interest in catering to western needs and wants. Sadly I think the only thing that will make him take notice of us again is a show of support for western separation.

Giving this government a majority mandate would be inadvisable at this time as they would become like dictators and totally intolerable. They have proven that they are untrustworthy and not deserving of too much power.

The Liberals don’t deserve to be in power and must remain in the penalty box for all their past crimes against the people of Canada, at least for the foreseeable future. Micheal Ignatieff has no interest in courting votes in western Canada anyway.

AVALANCHE BODYCOUNT KEEPS RISING

Sadly, the body count keeps rising from the fact that backcountry enthusiasts need to enjoy all that our mountains and valleys have to offer. Mother nature is in control and not at all forgiving to those who venture forth.The snow is so beautiful and inviting to those outdoor enthusiasts that they find it irresistable. The snow pack however is so unstable it is claiming lives at an intolerable rate.

Our hearts go out to the families and freinds of all those who have perished in this winter's avalanches.

Please play and enjoy all the wonders our land has to offer, but play safe.